Mothering Through The Pandemic

Who ever thought, we will witness an era in our lives where we will be working at the ease of our homes and our children would not have to go to school. And here we are in a situation when everybody is struggling and more so our kids who are not getting ways to channelize their energies. It is the dream of every parent to see their child adorn the school uniform and take the first step into formal schooling, all set to fly in the new arenas of their lives. But today so many children like my own daughter who should have started her schooling last year are trying to understand how learning takes place in a virtual mode. Missing out on social skills, values, sharing, playing together, team building, and so many other skills that children usually pick up from school are all missing. And that is when a parent has to play an even more active role building these skills along with developing the emotional quotient of the child, teaching them to be self dependent, teaching family values and so much more. All of this while juggling with the household and work responsibilities.

Now with so much negativity around, one thought that often strikes one’s mind is how to maintain the cool and not let the child get affected. Here are a couple of things that I have kept in mind while parenting in stressful times, which help me to ease out the pressure.

Every child is uniquely talented: Every child has their own strengths, and they unwrap their packages at different times. The only means of communication nowadays are phone or video calls when we call up a friend to check if their child can identify letters and numbers and yours cannot. We tend to start building pressure on ourselves and our children. Stop comparing. When they grow up nobody is going to ask them when they learnt to identify the letters.

It takes a village to raise a child: Feel free to ask for help. Do not try to master all the skills and take it all on yourself. Hire a caretaker, take help from grandparents, have a cook, do whatever it takes to ensure a fairly equitable division of labour.

1. Creativity is messy: Give them kinetic sand, let them explore the paints, let them do water play, let them have their own time and learn. After a few years your house will be clean; for today, enjoy the mess.

2. Redirect positive behaviour: Children when not engaged or are bored tend to misbehave for your attention. Do not yell at them. Communicate and talk out what’s been bothering them.

3. Take care of yourself: Make your cup of coffee and just sit without anyone bothering you, exercise, read, watch something. Do not forget your ‘me’ time - a happy parent raises a happy child.

4. Bonding time: Do not forget to have some time in the day when it is just you and your baby. Sit with them and tell them stories, dance to some songs, bake together, cuddle, just be with them alone with all your time and all your heart.

5. Bad days don’t make a bad parent: There is no rule book to perfect parenting and every parent must follow their instincts. There are always bad days, and everyone loses their cool at some point. But keep reminding yourself that you are definitely not a bad parent if you get upset at your kid. And most importantly, it is okay to apologise to your child if you think you were being unreasonable.