Pregnancy and its Untold Reality

Pregnancy is described as the transition period of a woman into a mother, a phase which is ever remembered by her throughout her life. It is described as one of the most wonderful, blessed and happy phases of our lives. It definitely feels surreal to carry a life inside your womb, nourish it and then give birth to it! Throughout our lives we are told about how wonderful it is and how pregnancy and motherhood is a blessing! But are all pregnancies roses and rainbows? Is it as wonderful and glamorous as it is depicted? Well as fate would have it, the answer is No! Even the most wonderful and glamorous phase of our lives can be challenging and stressful. We are never told about this other side of pregnancy- neither by our elders nor by the influencers in the entertainment industry. Often we come across videos or cinemas where the condition of a pregnant woman is depicted in a hilarious manner. She is laughed at when she cries, and her concerns are often pushed away by labelling her as“just hormonal”, and she is often told that “this too shall pass”! It might, but the real question here is: What measures are taken to ease the woman’s so-called “hormonal condition”? None! This, according to me, is the unspoken side of pregnancy!

As mentioned earlier, a pregnant woman’s mental health is often taken for granted, by labelling it as “hormonal changes”! According to the World Health Organization, one in three to one in five women in India suffer from mental health problems during the pregnancy and after childbirth. While a woman’s mental health through motherhood is extremely important in its own right, itt is also very important for a woman to be mentally and emotionally secure as we carry a life inside us!

"With great powers comes great responsibilities" – The Spiderman comics

I was totally unaware of this challenging side of the pregnancy! I have always heard pregnancies are all about happiness, cravings, good skin and glow. But the only glow I had was from the sweat due to the constant vomiting! I knew that morning sickness was sort of a package for the first trimester but mine lasted till the day I delivered my baby. Unlike others I threw up 11-13 times a day and sometimes I even threw up blood: they called it hyperemesis gravidarum. I never knew acid reflux would be a part of pregnancy. I also experienced a little bleeding and discomfort in my 6th week of pregnancy due to which I was on progesterone tablets and HCG shots and its side effects caused mood swings and headaches. For a person who had been scared of needles her entire life, it was a shock to experience how many times you have to be pricked during this entire phase. I had no cravings as even the thought of food made me throw up. However, I still had to eat because everybody told me I have to eat for my baby. I always dreamt of being active during my pregnancy but I was bed ridden the entire time at first due to the bleeding and then owing to the short cervix which I had never even heard of before. All my plans for travelling, exercising and babymoon never happened! I felt like I turned into some other unidentified personality the entire time. I didn't even want to talk to people anymore. I developed hatred towards food. I was admitted twice before my delivery due to complications. I never once acknowledged my wellbeing and always hoped my baby would be fine even after all these complications.

While pregnant women are taken for a physical health check-up, none of them are taken to a mental health expert to keep a woman mentally healthy!

"If you want to carry another life within you, you have to respect your own”- Sonam Kapoor Ahuja

I had a strong support system at home, which included my husband, my parents, siblings and in-laws. They did whatever they could have and beyond to make me feel happy and secure. At around the 30th week my baby started to come down and settled down on my pelvis region which caused intense pain while walking. I was put on complete bed rest thereafter. But thankfully I had my husband alongside and we spent time bingeing on web series and having meals together in bed, while trying to make sure that I was as comfortable as possible. My mother ensured I was fed well with food that did not upset my hyper acidic tummy. My gynaecologist always kept me informed and she always told me to trust my instincts and that nothing else mattered. She asked me to look after my wellbeing alongside my baby's. Now I realise how well my support system- my family, my friends and my gynaecologist helped me through the phase. A phone call a day from my friends and long chats with my parents are worth the weight in gold when I look back at that time.

Always remember that not all pregnancy experiences are the same, just like how not all bodies are the same! Seek help whenever you need it, without being ashamed. Pregnancy is not just about your baby but it’s equally about you and your wellbeing. According to me, prioritising your own wellbeing is the first step towards a happy and wonderful pregnancy!